LAGOM

“	To save the world from utter chaos, we must discard our meat and minds and become inorganic. Humanity must become pure in substance, unadulterated and inorganic, in orded to be the furniture of God... To achieve that, we must not fail to practice our faith every day and night, and pray to LAGOM!"	„
	— Ivrig, Chapter 2

LAGOM is a cult organization in the world of MINDHACK, worshipping a God of storage by the same name.

Story

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Believer rank

The rank of a believer is represented by furniture size. The bigger and more important the furniture, the greater the devotion. Official levels of furniture in the cult go as follows, with beds on top and miscellaneous goods on the bottom.

1. Beds, dining tables. Above this rank are only the founders of the religion.
2. Sofas
3. Chairs, work desks
4. Shelves and the like. Ivrig was at this rank before excommunication.
5. Lighting devices
6. Fabric accessories
7. Kitchenware
8. Tableware
9. Miscellaneous goods (photo frames, aroma candles, etc.)

The three founders of the LAGOM religion are a King-Size Bed, a Walk-Tn Closet and a Surround-Sound System.

Religious practices

One of the ways to communicate with LAGOM is a prayer. As said in the game, one way to do it is to act like a chair. To quote Ivrig:

“

The sole good deed we can do with our impure meat bodies for the inorganic god… Is to offer out bodies as cushions!!

„

Another practice for the believers is to live in shared houses. It is unknown how many of them exist or how many people they house, but it is known that Ivrig lived in one of them. According to him, the people there are hospitable and kind. COM_Z also said that the believers in the shared house helped Ivrig clip his fur, jokingly describing it as a symbiotic relationship.

Additionally, a member of the cult can wear a haori that represents their class of believer. Looking at Ivrig’s haori, he has four lapels which are meant to look like legs of desks and cabinets. The shape of the haori varies depending on the type of furniture, meaning the different members would supposedly have different kinds of designs.

Ivrig's invitation to LAGOM

A drawing of Ivrig that was released along with the blog in question.

Ivrig once hacked into VODKAdemo?'s website to preach about the virtues of LAGOM. The following is a fan translation of his rambles.

"Greetings, lost organic humans!

My name is Ivrig, and I am LAGOM’s faithful cabinet.
Today, I, chosen to be God’s missionary, am going to explain LAGOM’s teachings to you.

LAGOM, who will kindly save us all, is the ultimate inorganic God!

As you all are aware, humans, by nature, are creatures of flesh. In said flesh dwells the human’s spirit. But that spirit is what threatens our world most.

Our society is full of wickedness and deception. “All humans should be equal, we should all live together happily”. This is common knowledge to a modern citizen. “We must be considerate of those around us”. This is the slogan for world peace…

But take a look at the faulties of our history! We have international problems, a huge gap between the wealthy and the poor, and discrimination based on things you are born with. It’s clear that none of these were resolved.
In such weak circumstances, the wicked insects gather, and take form of The FATAL ERROR. You surely know that The FATAL ERROR is the one mankind should fear? It’s impossible to move away from such a threat while humans remain organic beings!!

Ah, foolish humans!!

But The Cabinet me came here to help you all out.

Those with a weak heart might already be close the realization…

Exactly!! If we all abandon our hearts, we can save the world from The FATAL ERROR!!!

The doors to LAGOM are always open to those who “became aware” of said truth.
Don’t hesitate to reach for the doorknob and use our clothes rack!

Now now, I know what you want to say. “We’ve heard you, but where’s the actual doorknob?” We would like to reassure you, as the path to LAGOM’s teachings is right beside you.

We are preparing opportunities day and night to reach out to lost organic matter like you! Yes, it's an exchange meeting like this place today.

To save lost souls like you, we arrange special meetings day and night! Yes, gatherings like the one we have today.
For example, recently, we held regular wind instrument concerts, seminars to stimulate inorganic thinking, and ceremonial dinners with lessons on proper table manners. Together with such events, we hold small meetings, and show the way of LAGOM to those “aware”. If there is a screwdriver of faith hidden deep within your heart, you’ll grasp the truth after attending.

So… If you turn to faith in the inorganic, then I have to tell you about threading on the ladder.

LAGOM has headquarters, but only the furniture chosen by God is permitted to be stored there. They are the three sages: a King-Size Bed for sound sleep, a Surround-Sound System with a radio, and a great Walk-In Closet. They are noble beings who were the first to reserve a place in the house of God, and are the ones who communicate LAGOM’s words to us, the believers.

Believers like me, who are foldable or carriable, are going through zealous training in various LAGOM branches, waiting for the day when they get to be furniture in God’s house. Away from twisted spirits, under one roof, we disciples live and train together.
Everything’s good! LAGOM’s shared houses are full of comfort, friendliness and love!

Let’s throw away our hearts and become inorganic, human children!
Let us follow the teachings and patiently wait for the day we become stored in the house of God!
Hu-hu-hu… Lucky for you, we have just one spare room in the shared house…!

W-wait-wait, don’t leave! Was it hard to understand? I can explain in more detail!

I’ll tell you about LAGOM’s aid! God’s… Please?

Wha… Where are you going?

Friend! Don’t leave! Wait, I’m telling you!! Wait--!!"

Trivia

• LAGOM is a Swedish word that can mean "just the right amount" or "not too much, not too little". The word is of cultural significance, as it can describe a way of life and the basis of the Swedish national psyche, one of consensus and equality.